Wednesday 10 October 2007

Swimsuit Fashion

Recently there has been of lot of re-tiling and refurbishment work going on around the pool in the Arabian Courtyard Hotel. This is where I go for my daily swim. I go just as its getting dark which means the workmen have finished. However, now that all the exterior lights are fixed these guys seem to be doing double shifts. This is either because the work is behind schedule or there has been some kind of miscommunication about acceptable Ramadan hours!

Anyway, I turned up a few days ago and they were all there so I got on with the swim thinking they would be gone within minutes and then all the bloody outside lights came on! I wear a full swimsuit but obviously that is not enough. After much staring and a quite bizarre and awkward atmosphere I abandoned the swim after 10 minutes.

If I don't have that daily swim there is a danger that I will murder my husband, several of our neighbours and possibly throw myself from the top of that Rolex building on the other side of the creek. So a solution had to be found.

I remembered a news story I read about a Muslim girl in Australia who wanted to be a bodyguard. Given the inevitable physical exposure this would require, her parents were adamant that she pursue another career option! However, she was so determined to be a bodyguard she invented the 'burkhini'. Inspired by this, I came up with my own version involving a swimsuit, cycling shorts and a long t-shirt... all in black of course!

I am amazed at how much difference it makes. I can get on with my serious laps of the pool without feeling exposed and the workmen can get on with the tiling without being overly distracted by a semi naked woman. The bonus is that it increases resistance so you actually have to work that little bit harder to maintain speed and motion. It's like moving the exercise routine up a level!

Am now thinking that I should get n touch with the inventor of the Burkhini, suggest she goes global and offer to be her representative in the UAE. Tried to find the name of the inventor but couldn't. Did find a reference on Grapeshisha posted a year ago ..... so am already way too late for the international franchise opportunities!

3 comments:

  1. Quite a refreshing change not to hear someone bitching about how workmen stare at semi-naked women in Dubai, but instead finding a creative solution to the situation :) I've heard the Australian's girl story too, entrepreneurship and determination combined!

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  2. crescenet must be resident in the UAE, given their excellent command of english...I thought a blogroll what what one used to remove excreta traces.....more importantly, excellent news on the burkhini, Ms Nature Strikes, lets hope it'll ctatch on on Jumeira Beach among all the white bourgeois blitches down there

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  3. I think crescenet must be some kind of blogspam outfit!

    As for Jumeirah beach .. dream on! The maximum exposure of white flesh is a masochistic and cultural imperative. Burning and redness must be suffered in defiance of the perpetual grey sky being escaped from. The resulting tan is then admired by your peers thus improving your social status and indicating a certain financial status at the same time.

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